Mistletoe
by Song of the Black Wolf
Summary: It's Zoë Hange's favorite time of year!


Levi stopped outside the door leading into the common room, ensuring that Erwin passed into the room well ahead of him. He then entered himself, carefully making sure not to pass directly under the horrid little plant with white berries that dangled in the middle of the doorway from a festive red ribbon. He glared at the offensive little branch. "Tch! Four-eyes put those damn little shit-on-twigs everywhere!"

Erwin chuckled. "She always has loved that old tradition."

"Fucking stupid tradition if you ask me," Levi snorted. "Every time that lunatic catches any two people under those filthy things, she makes them kiss."

Erwin began to openly laugh. "You have to admit that watching Jaëger and Kirstein kiss was highly amusing."

Levi paused a moment. "Hmmm. I think watching that Ackerman girl try to rip Kirstein apart immediately after was funnier." He scanned the room, seeking a safe spot to sit. "That damn Four-eyes is really going out of her way to make my life a living hell this year!"

The entire castle was decked out with pine garland, holly and a large tree in the common room and another in the dining hall. The shedding needles were enough to annoy the Captain, but the squad was surprisingly good at keeping up with the cleaning, so it wasn't really a problem this year. Ever since they had put up the decorations three days ago, one Zoë Hange went around hanging sprigs of mistletoe everywhere and taking fiendish delight in making all who passed under it kiss, regardless of gender.

It all started with Zoë hanging a sprig over the sofa in the common room and making Sasha and Connie kiss when they unwittingly sat under it. So far, that Levi was aware of, Zoë had gotten Sasha and Mikasa, Jean and Eren, Armin and Connie, Armin and Sasha, Jean and Connie, Moblit (pale as a ghost) and Hitch, Jean and Marlow, Eren and Mikasa (More than once to Zoë's unending delight), Erwin and Sasha, and even Mikasa and Jean (much to Mikasa's dismay but Jean's delight). Levi had no idea how many pairings he'd missed.

The worst part of all this, was that the only safe place in the entire castle grounds (including stables and courtyard and training grounds) was the bathrooms. Levi had to have his guard up at all times, carefully checking everywhere he went for the devilish sprigs. Damn near every doorway had a sprig hanging in it and almost every chair was covered. Worse still, she moved them around constantly so when people started avoiding a spot, they would get caught in another spot.

Finding one of the offending plants hanging over his favorite chair, he whipped out his knife, used the coffee table as a jumping off point and with a swift strike, cut the ribbon holding the mistletoe up. With a follow up flick of the blade, the vile plant landed in the fire.

"Awwww! What did that poor plant ever do to you?" Zoë questioned with a fake pout on her face as she entered the room.

Levi sat down and opened his book. "Do you even realize that the thing's name literally means 'shit on a stick'?"

"You **_would_** know that," Zoë teased as she sat in the chair next to him.

"Who started this moronic tradition anyway?"

"Mmmm . . . not sure really. It dates back to before the walls."

Erwin glanced up from his own book. "Are you sure she didn't just make this all up to have fun?"

"Sadly, no. I've read the old traditions too. She's not making it up," Levi replied dryly.

"AH! YOU'RE UNDER THE MISTLETOE! YOU HAVE TO KISS NOW!" Zoë shouted exuberantly.

Levi turned to see a tomato red Armin and ashen Eren standing in the doorway with the rest of the squad watching expectantly behind them. Eren rolled his eyes. "Aw maaaaan!" he whined before turning and giving his crimson faced best friend a quick peck on the lips.

Zoë squealed with delight and the rest of the squad giggled, filing one at a time into the room, careful to avoid passing directly under the innocent looking twig. Zoë watched expectantly as everyone found a place to sit and relax, all checking overhead for mistletoe. Eren, Mikasa and Armin settled on the floor in front of the fire. All three froze in horror when they heard a tell-tale squeak from Zoë.

"Oh, come on!" Eren yelped in dismay.

"All three of you!" Zoë pointed at the plant hanging innocently off a candle sconce at the corner of the mantle.

Armin whimpered and Eren openly groaned while Mikasa buried her nose in her red scarf. Both boys leaned in simultaneously and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Oooh! That was so sweeeet!" Zoë sang.

"I'll be glad when tomorrow is over and I can burn every last one of these little shit-on-a-sticks," Levi growled.

"Oh, don't be such a pooper!" Zoë chided. "You love watching this as much as I do. We all need a little innocent fun at this time of year."

"I hardly think Kirstein thought it was fun when you made him kiss his horse!" Levi retorted.

Eren failed to stifle his laugh when he remembered that one. Jean sat in his chair turning red and scowling at the floor.

"It's all in good, harmless fun," Erwin stated matter-of-factly.

Levi snorted softly in disagreement, but let the subject drop and focused on his book.

* * *

The next day was a rare day of fun and peace. Christmas was the one day that the Survey Corps was able truly kick back and relax. Levi, for his part, had never really liked the holiday, but put up with it for the sake of his soldiers. It was further complicated by the fact that it was his birthday, and Zoë always made sure everyone knew it. Though he outwardly acted like he didn't care, inwardly, he enjoyed the thoughtfulness of his comrades.

After presents had been exchanged and opened (and Levi had made everyone clean up the resulting mess), the dinner had been eaten, and the obligatory birthday cake had been consumed, Levi gave the order for his squad to hunt down all mistletoe and gather them all out in the courtyard. With whoop of elation, the entire squad set to work with enthusiasm, hunting the castle from top to bottom and taking down any mistletoe they found.

Zoe was a little disappointed that they actually found every single sprig she had hung. "Well, it was fun while it lasted," she sighed.

Levi had built a large fire in the middle of the courtyard, and with a celebratory whoop, they all threw the mistletoe on the fire. After singing several traditional Christmas songs, they all retreated back inside to prepare for bed. As they went in, Levi told Zoë to meet him in his office in fifteen minutes.

Precisely fifteen minutes later, as requested, Zoë knocked on the door to Levi's office. "Come in."

Zoë stepped into the room and closed the door behind her, turned, and her mouth fell open. Levi was leaning back against his desk, arms folded across his chest, but over his head hung the largest bunch of mistletoe she'd ever seen. As she stared, the man cocked his head slightly and raised an elegant eyebrow. "I believe it's tradition to kiss someone who is standing beneath mistletoe," he stated flatly, though his silver eyes shown with mirth.

Zoë squeaked with delight, ran forward, threw her arms around his neck and kissed him long and hard. "You're so sweet!"

"Don't tell anyone. You'll ruin my reputation."

They both glanced up at the white berries. "There aren't any rules saying we can kiss only once, right?" Levi asked.

Zoë smiled. "Nope!"


End file.
